[Thespiritexpress] Confessions of a Marginal Mystic (a poem by Ed Balldinger)

[Ed Balldinger]

As requested by one, some, a few, or nearly all of the above to be shared
on the ever lively Spirit Express, this is a poem I read before our Recognition
Sutras study today.  It's a poem from my 2009 book of poetry, *"From
Cavity's Kitchen to the Bone Comber's Home"*...



*Confessions of a Marginal Mystic *



I should have knelt in the tower

of marginal love much longer than I did.



I should have danced until my feet

were numb from moving in step.



I should have spun like a junk monkey

on the marble floors of decimation.



I should have split each hair into quarter shanks

to prove the accuracy of my own axe.



In the grainy angularity of a circular

dissension, I fell down – face forward –

out of a temple and into a shell

where over and under, I generally dwell.



I should have drained the desert dry of all

its liquid dew when once I had the chance.



I should have purified all my altered states

on the altar of figurative speech.



I should have breached the wall that

held me like a garden tilled in deep grief soil.



I should have broken out and trickled down in

streams that flow less damned than this one does.



Of the insolvent knave who’s prone to

steer, there is no direction given here –

one part Dervish; two parts lore; three

parts left as we who came before.



I could have slashed a razor gash

into the granite rock of my own spotless tomb.



I could have chosen one less cloak to wrap

myself within, spending all my pent up heat,



but I could not miss the seventh circle of a

third heaven, when the mystic within me heard

          the voice of God,

and I stopped –

*to listen for once*…



*Edgar Z. Balldinger *

                                January 26, 2004

                                 *© Nublin’s Pub, 2004*
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