[Thespiritexpress] "Grief" ~~~~ from James Humecky

Sun Oct 6 16:05:44 PDT 2024

Damn.

Just, “Damn”.

Thanks James.

On Sun, Oct 6, 2024 at 3:39 PM Ron Nadeau via Thespiritexpress <
thespiritexpress at lists.mcn.org> wrote:

>
> [image: James Humecky | Somatic Pleasure Therapist.png]
> <https://jameshumecky.com/r/d49e8bd3?m=19b2f444-f25e-4907-912e-3acd6db37c4a>
>
> JAMES HUMECKY | SOMATIC PLEASURE THERAPIST
> <https://jameshumecky.com/r/a2a87d19?m=19b2f444-f25e-4907-912e-3acd6db37c4a>
> Good Grief
> <https://jameshumecky.com/r/d4c267b1?m=19b2f444-f25e-4907-912e-3acd6db37c4a>
> By James Humecky • 6 Oct 2024
> View in browser
> <https://jameshumecky.com/r/5ebcb46f?m=19b2f444-f25e-4907-912e-3acd6db37c4a>
> [image: Eat-the-rainbow-2.jpg]
>
> Textures and moments of joy. Baldwin Beach, Pa'ia Maui, HI
>
> *Reconnection and recollection*
>
> Recently I was sitting with my men’s group. It had been awhile since we
> all connected in one meeting. And by “awhile,” I mean probably more than a
> year and a half, and maybe even two…. yeah, THAT kind of awhile.
>
> A lot has transpired for all of us since that time, and it was good to
> connect again, and feel this group of strong men sharing deeply. Hearts
> were open and empathy was flowing strong and, partially because we are all
> in "that age group," the conversation turned to death, loss and grief.
>
> As you might imagine, that sparked a good deal of discussion, compassion,
> and remembering of loved ones. We have all experienced the loss of parents,
> siblings and friends; some, like myself, very recently.
>
> This conversation opened up that place of grieving in me again, and grief
> has been up front and present for me this whole year.
>
> My friend Richard died in July, and my youngest brother, Joel David,
> passed away on January 2nd this year. My oldest brother, Timothy Patrick,
> died two years before that in 2022. He was preceded by my mother, Loretta
> Ruth Agee in 2019, and my brother Matthew Thomas, in 2018.
>
> But beyond death, we (humanity) all have, or will, experience the loss of
> love, relationships, dreams, the innocence of childhood, homes and
> communities. I walked away from what was meant to be a beautiful life with
> a partner in Maui just one year ago.
>
> I know that I'm not alone or unique in experiencing death, and loss, and
> grief, but my grief is unique to me, and only I can deal with it.
>
> *Not a one and done*
>
> As my friend Ron reminded me that grief is not something that is just
> processed once and you're done; a couple of weeks, a good cry, spread some
> ashes, light a candle, and move on.
>
> Grief, when we allow ourselves to actually be open to our emotional
> selves, to the body’s non-verbal, sensate process, can and probably will
> linger, just to come up, unexpectedly, in subtle and sometimes cathartic
> ways.
>
> All of that grief seemed to coalesce in my body, the grief around lost
> relationships, lost love, lost family, lost friends, watching the losses
> happening around the world of people and places, human treasure, the
> storehouse of knowledge and history, seeming to crumbling right before our
> eyes. And I found myself in a state of deep grieving that stopped me in my
> tracks.
>
> Luckily, I have many avenues to process, people to process with, and
> enough experience to be able to sit with it, and know it will pass, no
> matter how horrible it feels.
>
> *Death becomes you*
>
> What I did learn in that space, maybe something I'd never fully realized,
> is how grief, and all emotions, memories, and our experiences, are just a
> part of our makeup.
>
> They are not negatives to be shoved away, or erased, or otherwise
> mitigated or let go. All those painful and uncomfortable sensations in my
> body, I learned, are those serrations in the bedrock of my being that
> create color, and texture.
>
> They are the anomalies that, when extracted, we find beautiful and useful.
> They are the things that create the intertwining weave of the fabric of our
> lives; our Coat of Many Colors.
>
> It's these places and experiences, these joyful amalgamations that give
> meaning and purpose to life, to my life.
> *The Grief of Men**There is a place for grieving **with and among men **only
> meant to be witnessed **by men**This grieving for loss…. **lost love **lost
> friends **lost family **And maybe more the lost innocence **The lost
> hearts and **The loss of our creative souls… **our souls…**My wish **my
> desire **is to grieve with you my friend **to grieve with and for the men
> in my life **men who have put away the things of the heart **who reside
> in the gray **who scream into an abyss **into the chaos of separation…**as
> we are asked to put away our masculinity in favor of **man-hood **to be
> less by degrees… **to digress into agreeableness.**Who will stand to
> watch **to hold **to grieve … **this silent, whittling away of that which
> stems the tide of oblivion **that roars down the sun **that empties the
> sky so the moon can shine … in peace …**There is no place left here for
> rage **the righteous rage of a man undone**swept into the maudlin flow**It’s
> time to grieve **It is time to beat our chests **To raise our voices in
> bestial chorus**There is a place for grieving **with and among men **for
> men ….. **by men **Grieving for loss **and the path undone*
>
> ~James Humecky
>
> *Thank you for being part of this space. For more educational topics and
> themes you might want to visit my **Somatic Pleasure Coaching*
> <https://jameshumecky.com/r/a6d8b4c4?m=19b2f444-f25e-4907-912e-3acd6db37c4a>* page
> and explore what’s on offer there. *
>
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