[Thespiritexpress] Poem Read at last "Pathwork"

[Riantee Rand]

> On Jul 28, 2023, at 12:52, Roz via Thespiritexpress <thespiritexpress at lists.mcn.org> wrote:
> 
> I so love this poem, Toni!  It’s so bold and rich and deep, thanks for sharing it with us!
> 
> Love, Roz
> 
> Sent from my iPad
> 
>> On Jul 28, 2023, at 8:02 AM, Shawn Abell via Thespiritexpress <thespiritexpress at lists.mcn.org> wrote:
>> 
>> Dear Toni,
>> I love this poem!!! I remember the first time I heard it and was so
>> blown away. It's one of my favorites of yours. Your poetry is deep
>> and a voice for all women! You are so very talented.
>> Thank you for sharing this!!
>> much love,
>> Shawn
>> 
>> 
>> On 2023-07-27 4:44 pm, Toni Bernbaum via Thespiritexpress wrote:
>>>> This is dedicated to all of us who are serious about shadow
>>>> work…….its challenges and ultimate rewards……with
>>>> love….Toni
>>>> 
>>>> Retrieval
>>>> 
>>>> I want it all back.
>>>> 
>>>> Every time I hung my head,
>>>> 
>>>> every word held on my tongue,
>>>> 
>>>> every lie I’ve told,
>>>> 
>>>> every piece of me I bought or sold,
>>>> 
>>>> thinking it would get me love.
>>>> 
>>>> I want it back.
>>>> 
>>>> The beg-your-pardons,
>>>> 
>>>> the I-didn’t-mean-tos,
>>>> 
>>>> the bowing out backwards,
>>>> 
>>>> the pleading, performing, and scheming.
>>>> 
>>>> The seducing and hiding.
>>>> 
>>>> The waiting.
>>>> 
>>>> The pretending to be what I’ve never been
>>>> 
>>>> with a righteous, condescending
>>>> 
>>>> “I’m above that” grin.
>>>> 
>>>> Give it to me.
>>>> 
>>>> The key to unshackle my shame,
>>>> 
>>>> my anger and blame.
>>>> 
>>>> I want to own it, wear it, and _not_ have to explain.
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> I want the truth to embrace
>>>> 
>>>> As I take back the pain.
>>>> 
>>>> I want to conjure-up all my fears in a potion,
>>>> 
>>>> I want to drink it and swallow all my emotions.
>>>> 
>>>> I want to own the devil in me  -   take back my power - get myself
>>>> free-
>>>> 
>>>> I want the whole of me strutting
>>>> 
>>>> when I walk down the street
>>>> 
>>>> I want my dark, down, dirty self back,
>>>> 
>>>> Its black magic wings
>>>> 
>>>> arched at my shoulders,
>>>> 
>>>> then aimed like a warrior’s arrow,
>>>> 
>>>> I’m going to bend the bow of my body
>>>> 
>>>> so far back that nothing but its original target
>>>> 
>>>> is clear, and then, Lord Mama,
>>>> 
>>>> I’m gonna let go.
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