[Thespiritexpress] Just for Fun ~~~~~ April Fools Day (yesterday)

[Ruth Dell'Ara]

Thanks ! Too funny 😂

Sent from my iPhone

> On Apr 2, 2021, at 8:09 PM, rnadeau via Thespiritexpress <thespiritexpress at lists.mcn.org> wrote:
> 
> 
> 
> Subject: Modified Words
> The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it    by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supplying a new definition.
>  
> 
> Here are the winners:
>  
> 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
> 
> 2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.    
>   
> 3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
> 
> 4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.    
>   
> 5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.     
>   
> 6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.     
>   
> 7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high     
>   
> 8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.    
>   
> 9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.    
>   
> 10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
> 
> 11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.     
>   
> 12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.    
>   
> 13. Glibido: All talk and no action.     
>   
> 14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.     
>   
> 15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.   
>   
> 16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
> 
> 17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
> 
> 
> The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. 
> And the winners are:
>  
>  
> 1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.     
>   
> 2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.    
>   
> 3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.    
>   
> 4. esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
> 
> 5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.    
>   
> 6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.    
>   
> 7. Lymph, v To walk with a lisp.    
>   
> 8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.    
>   
> 9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.    
>   
> 10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.    
>   
> 11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.     
>   
> 12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
> 
> 13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.     
>   
> 14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.     
>   
> 15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.    
>   
> 16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men .
> 
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