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"Time out" guys . . . for a little humor . . . ;)<div><br></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 23px; ">POLAR BEARS AND GRIZZLIES TO MERGE</span><br><div><img src="cid:84F77F6B-F7E0-4426-B581-DEEE67BE5DB8@local"><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: center; line-height: 25px; font: normal normal normal 16px/normal 'Times New Roman'; min-height: 18px; "><br></div><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 16.0px 0.0px; line-height: 25.0px"><font face="Times New Roman" size="5" style="font: 16.0px Times New Roman">NEW YORK (<a href="http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/">The Borowitz Report</a>)—In what observers are calling the largest merger ever between two species of mammal capable of mauling humans to death, polar bears and grizzly bears announced on Friday that they were joining forces in a friendly acquisition.</font></p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 16.0px 0.0px; line-height: 25.0px"><font face="Times New Roman" size="5" style="font: 16.0px Times New Roman">If the merger goes through, the polar bears and grizzly bears would together be able to terrorize a much larger landmass than ever before, experts said.</font></p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 16.0px 0.0px; line-height: 25.0px"><font face="Times New Roman" size="5" style="font: 16.0px Times New Roman">Speaking at a packed press conference in New York accompanied by their investment bankers from Goldman Sachs, the jubilant bears gave their spin on the unprecedented deal.</font></p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 16.0px 0.0px; line-height: 25.0px"><font face="Times New Roman" size="5" style="font: 16.0px Times New Roman">“To say that we’re excited would be an understatement,” said a spokesman for the grizzlies. “For years, we’ve admired the way polar bears have dismembered hikers who’ve encroached on their territory. To be on the same team with talent like that—whoa. It’s a dream come true.”</font></p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 16.0px 0.0px; line-height: 25.0px"><font face="Times New Roman" size="5" style="font: 16.0px Times New Roman">While critics of the merger have argued that it is anticompetitive, a spokesman for the polar bears disagreed.</font></p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 16.0px 0.0px; line-height: 25.0px"><font face="Times New Roman" size="5" style="font: 16.0px Times New Roman">“I think working with the grizzlies is just going to push us to savage more human flesh than ever before. Speaking for myself, I’m ready to start mauling,” he said, underscoring his point by eating a reporter.</font></p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 16.0px 0.0px; line-height: 25.0px"><font face="Times New Roman" size="5" style="font: 16.0px Times New Roman">The merger is not expected to face regulatory hurdles.</font></p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 16.0px 0.0px; line-height: 25.0px"><font face="Times New Roman" size="5" style="font: 16.0px Times New Roman">----------------------------------------------30-----------------------------------------------------------</font></p><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-size: medium; "><div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><font face="Times New Roman" size="3" color="#0000ff" style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal 'Times New Roman'; color: rgb(0, 0, 255); "><i>NOTICE: This e-mail mesage is intended only for the sole use of the recipient(s) named above. It may contain information that is protected, priviledged, or confidential. If you have recieved this transmission: any unauthorized review, use, disclosure, or distribution is strictly prohibited. If you have received this transmission in error, please contact the sender immediately by reply e-mail and delete this message and its attachments, if any. Please also check your e-mail preferences to insure that any/all correspondence in general is immediately deleted from your server upon transmission to your mailbox. Thank You.</i></font></div></div><div><br></div></span><br class="Apple-interchange-newline"><br class="Apple-interchange-newline"> </div><br></div></div></body></html>